Buried Alive (2007)
Dimension Films
R1 / NTSC DVD
Director: Robert Kurtzman
Writer: Art Monterastelli
Starring: Tobin Bell, Terence Jay & Germaine De Leon.
Review by Brian Harris

A group of college students head out to a spooky old homestead for a little sorority hazing and partying but an ancient spirit has different plans for the group...murderous revenge.

Buried Alive is idiotic. Period. I'm not even sure where to begin so I'll just start with the obvious stupidity like the cliché characters. We've got the druggie slacker, the jock, the bitch, the nerd, the slut and the one and only chick that JUST SO HAPPENS to be schooled in the fine art of Native American totems and ancient evil. Did I mention there's also a "Crazy Ralph?" Well, there is, Tobin Bell plays a sinister old prospector/caretaker that warns the group about evil, makes lewd comments and threatens the guys with bodily harm.

The dialogue was just plain bad, the banter bordered on nonsensical and some of the "backstory" like the druggie slacker's need for medication and the druggie slacker's incestuous connections with his cousin (the bitch). This was a poorly written script, no doubt about it.

About midway through the film I realized there were only two things that could possibly keep this film from being the worst film in Robert Kurtzman's filmography was nudity & gore. Unfortunately...the gore was sparse and, while there was nudity, it could have been a higher quality nudity.

In other words...Buried Alive failed. Even when they could have succeeded in the lowest common denominator category...they failed at that as well. The story was convoluted and goofy, it took way too long to get some real murderous mayhem and the finale was a rushed let down.

• Screen Format: Widescreen (16x9) / Color
• Audio: English Dolby 5.1
• Subtitles: Spanish, English
• Running time: 94 mins.

• None

Buried Alive is a major waste of time and the bare bones DVD speaks volumes. You won't care about the production, you won't give a shit about any behind the scenes anecdotes and there's no need for stills, posters or outtakes because nobody will give a shit about this film once they're finished watching it.

What could have been, at the very least, a sleazy little B-movie ended up being a boring, convoluted snoozer. Pass on this.

"...a sick, twisted piece of fleshy celluloid!"