Rambo (Theatrical - 2008)
Lionsgate
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Writer: Sylvester Stallone & Art Monterastelli
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Mardsen & Graham McTavish,
Review by Adam Tracey

John Rambo is living the simple lift, if by simple life you mean a lowly snake rustler in Nowhere Special, Thailand. A Colorado based church has sent a small delegation on a mission to Burma, where civil war and genocide has torn the place apart for the better part of 7 decades. They are to deliver much needed medicine, bibles and prayer to a small village buried in the jungle. After some tough talk and heart string pulling, Rambo agrees to boat them up river and drop them off. Some time later the minister of the Colorado Church asks Rambo to take a group of mercenaries to the same location and drop them off, so they can try to find out what happened to the missionaries when they haven’t been heard from in 10 days. In typical Sylvester Stallone movie fashion, we see a flashback that helps him decide to tag along on the recovery operation. Mayhem ensues!

Holy Hell! Let me tell you this is not the Rambo you remember from your childhood. Slick knife, pretty boy Stallone and red bandana are nowhere to be found. This is straight up grit, grime and slime. I have not seen this much blood and guts in a non-horror movie since Saving Private Ryan. This a Rambo movie, I really can’t criticized the lack of any type of real story or character development and any attempt to do so, would likely come from some snobby critic who thinks his elitist ass is too good for this type of movie, so I won’t. As for acting how do you properly rate acting in a movie where the number one requirement is how well you grind your teeth while your whole body shakes from whatever weapon they ask you to fire, so I won’t. How do you rate cinematography when your only goal is to make sure the camera is in the best place to splatter it with blood, ok I can rate this. It was fantastic. If there was violence or carnage happening you had the best seat in the house.
 
 

I can’t say this is a great movie, I don’t even think it is a good movie, but it is what it is and it excels at that. This is John F’n Rambo. If a person could be mowed down or killed in some medieval way they were. If they could shoot, cut, hack, explode, burn or rip a person in as many pieces as possible they did and they made sure that any left over appendages came flying at you and landed in your lap. This would have made one hell of a 3D movie. Sure the movie has cheese ball ending, but an hour and thirty minutes of goretastic scenes more than makes up for 5 minutes of sappy Stallone. First Blood is a very good movie. The middle two are hit or miss, but I would be more than happy to pick up a box set with First Blood and this movie sandwiching the other two.
 
 

“..a steroid induced rage of action, violence and fun!”
 
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